Boomer Empty Nesters Adding Online Social Networking to Recovery Options

Boomer Empty Nesters Adding Online Social Networking to Recovery Options

(ARA) - Your last child is off to their first year in college, and their old car is packed full of clothes, sports gear, pictures and enough books to make their dorm room livable. You and your spouse keep waving until the car turns the corner out of sight, and then look at each other as a child-free couple for the first time in perhaps 20 years or more.

After savoring the sense of accomplishment -- seeing the children safely through accident-prone childhood, emotionally chaotic adolescence and angst-filled young adulthood -- a shadow might begin to darken your emotions. In degrees that can range from mild nostalgia through debilitating depression, the departure of the children from a family can leave one or both parents coping with the unfamiliar intimacy of a child-free marriage, the loneliness of the loss of children from everyday life and loss of direction as their family roles are upended.

Welcome to empty nest syndrome, an emotional condition that every year affects baby boomers as they send the last of their children off to college or out of the home to start their careers. While some couples celebrate the moment they can once again turn their emotional attention to each other, those who experience some degree of empty nest syndrome are increasingly turning to the Internet for information, advice and commiseration.

For example, at Eons.com, a social networking Web site created for people age 50 and over, blogs and discussion groups about coping with empty nest syndrome abound. Judy Beatty, a 60-year-old consultant in Georgia, created her own blog at Eons.com to discuss her experiences as the last of her three children recently left home.

"For me, Eons was important because the blog I created there gave me an avenue to discuss this, and I was able to connect there with others who shared my feelings," Beatty says. "One woman replied that when she read my blog, it was like she was reading her own thoughts."

Beatty's advice to empty nest sufferers is to "step back, get outside of yourself and turn your attention to other things." While their children were growing up, there was PTA, scouts, karate practice and chorus to keep the family busy and to provide topics for conversation. Now that Judy and her husband of 37 years, Jerry, are empty nesters, they're turning more of their time to passions like restoring antique cars and beautifying their yard. They're also re-engaging with volunteer groups like their local library and a favorite nonprofit group, Habitat For Humanity.

Some additional advice for coping with empty nest syndrome includes:

* Prepare in advance: Even before the kids wave their last good-bye, parents should admit to themselves that they're likely to feel an emotional backlash and give themselves time to adjust.

* Don't shorten the leash: Parents should let the adjustment process take its course and resist the temptation to call their kids too often.

* Take it slow and easy: Parents should resist the temptation to add too many activities and commitments to their lives too soon. Let the adjustment process happen slowly.

* Rekindle the romance: For married empty nesters, there was once a time in their lives when life wasn't always about the kids. Recall those times when it was all about each other, and return to the romance and special moments.

* Cut the clutter: Now that the kids are gone, you can probably find a different use for some of the bedrooms. Take the opportunity to outfit a hobby room, a welcoming library or a music room.

Judy Beatty added one more strategy to her empty nest recovery: online social networking at Eons.com. And she said it was important to share her feelings in a way that connected with others in the same situation. Looking back, Beatty says, "We took pride in the fact that we got them all out of the nest, and we even felt relief that that stage of our life was over."

Courtesy of ARAcontent