When the Fight is Over

When the Fight is Over by James Walsh

Starting off as an ‘amicable’ separation, their divorce became a naked battle for money and assets, with both parties washing dirty linen in public and not sparing the insults for each other. Then suddenly, a kind of calm came over, as it does after a storm, and the couple were seen talking sedately with each other, hugging their child, and in general, behaving their age. It seems that Beatrice, their three-year old daughter is the worker of this miracle. Both parents felt that they were traumatizing her with their ongoing warfare and decided to smile and make up for her sake. Those who are less sympathetic have pointed out that money is probably a greater factor. A lot had been spent on the divorce already, and they were not enjoying it. Sir Paul has to part with more than he initially proposed, while Heather has to accept less than the astronomical figure she wanted. While we do not know whether the couple has decided genuinely to forgive each other and forget about it all, both of them are obviously making an effort to stop the ruckus they have been creating so far.

To Err is Human

The post-divorce period is not the best time for a moral lecture. However, one has to draw the line somewhere, and realize that their spouse is not a villain on the lines of the larger than life characters we come across in literature or films. Unless one has been unfortunate enough to have married an abusive man or woman, there are very few people who can squarely point at their ex and declare him or her to be the scum of the earth. Avenging ourselves is part of our psyche, especially when we know that facing all the facts with clarity and insight may not be so savoury. It is especially hard to forgive a spouse if the breakup involved an extramarital affair. Stalking, trailing the spouse, trying to blackmail or spying with the help of the children are all old methods in this battle royal, and now the internet has made it even more convenient to create trouble for your worse half. The blog spots on the net reveal deep-seated resentments, bordering on shocking violence, and it is irrespective of sex. In this terrible game, the greatest losers are the children. They are often referred to in terms similar to property, and the whole thrust is on who owns the rights, rather than what the child might be feeling. The next losers are the fighters themselves. A long-drawn dispute costs a lot of time and money. The money may still be recovered, but the time is permanently lost. There are couples who have been fighting over ex lovers, present partners, a house in the country, their bike, car insurance, and gifts given to each other. All of them are real people, and are signing in from the UK into the world of the internet, perhaps, even at this very moment. There is a remarkable couple who are fighting over their speed bike. As of now, on the advice of fellow bloggers, they are taking turns with it, and strangely enough, seem less virulent. One wonders what would happen when the bike would need servicing!

And to Forgive is Divine?

Some people have a more messy divorce than the others. This does not always show on the surface, as they go through a quiet and neat no-faults divorce for the sake of time and money. But the wounds remain, and they do not spare each other the pains whenever they get a chance. Most of them believe that their lives have been laid to ashes by their partners, and the culprits do not deserve any peace. But does this grant any peace to either side? The other problem is that even when they have started feeling tired about the whole thing, they do not want to give up because neither partner wants to lower the weapon first. Then it becomes merely a battle of ego between two tired people who don’t know how to get out of the circle of hate. If it is hard to forgive, or say ‘sorry’, then you can always try to show it through actions at least. The gestures count too, not just the words.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information on getting a Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com

Article Directory: Article Dashboard